For fear of losing it, I'm going to save some things here. I'm not sure what purpose they will serve other than to make me cringe, but I regret not being able to find the others.

A moon swinging by tender threads,
Swallowed stars throwing their eyes up to the heavens,
Children of angels trusting in the unknown,
We all seem to be examples of once-believed in miracles washed up on the shore.
But I don't want to succumb to this fate, a life removed from beauty,
From all that I always knew I could only set my sights on.
She's twisting my words into doom's day prayers,
cleaning me by the dust of the sick earth,
licking my wounds she caused by her own tragic fate.
I can't seem to shake her -she dances beside me,
Swirling her grotesque hips round and round my fire,
Swearing that this time is the day of reckoning.
There He is, shifting through the crowd,
A masked man with no place to hide
Breathing in lies to survive.
Always smiling and never knowing,
He brings me bombs that I wish I could mimic.
Past the gazebo and the pools of longing
Catching the rays of perception,
I do see my love offering the truth, the wealth of no protection.
Here lies no earth, no wind, no rain,
only the depth of Night and Day.
I'm married to this truth now, blue from my ethereal suffocation
Wearing my spirit for us to see, to treasure with no essence of trepidation.
Vainly I was swimming through this mess of roses and cherry blossoms
Calling for someone to whisper God into my ear
-I was hoping for what I never thought I could hear-

I am, she said =while avoiding the ocean that was tumbling out of her mouth, serious. I am confident. I am like a tree that has outgrown its sky, with my branches gripping on to every passerby. I was once a child, young in my experience, but that is the past. As I stood here in the garden of my sin many years ago, I learned of the future. I saw, while the wind was passing through my time, that my children and their children and so on would suffer to no avail. This punishment that I have bestowed upon myself will carry on like a disease, and I have no regrets.

And I could count the ways I want you,
from one to thousand one
with glories of lives lived before,
hopes of consummation now undone,
with fertile lies and broken-down pages of
tomes and times sunken into the sun.
and I could slip out of my self
just to watch you kiss me again
just to feel the warmth of a hearts so cold interlocking with the truth of twilight
nearing its eternal end.
And I could smile a painful smile, rooted in the graves
of long-lost pirate ships and tales of a ancient civilization
and floods devastating mankind, with miracles swirled into the restless sand.
And I could sleep, sleep this all away, with threads of beauty and sorrow safe from humanity's
Decay.
And I could know the moves of a muse
And the trail she leaves behind
With her ethereal fingers traipsing upon the underbrush of consciousness
Calling for another venom-tinged dream.
And I could savor these fantasies paved with gold and promises of God,
Originating in the heart of dawn,
And I could swim in the depths of lust, encased by my own madness
Driven by your quiet way of moaning,
Or I could simply watch you breathe and know that there is nothing more
Amazing in the world.


well, there's only so many ways to deny what you already know, especially if your cup is overflowing and the cereal letters are spelling out
your prescription to Zoloft
and there's only a few moments left until you're belting out "A Better Son/Daughter" with your life stuck in neutral, which, my mate, is only a slight letdown considering how many days we all worked at that forsaken bowling alley.
So, Moonlight Sonata plays in the background while he avoids coming home...

when you are...
-------------------------------------------

tired of wearing your mask, let me know.
its been a long time.
it doesn't have to be a beautifully written goodbye letter. nor does it have to be verbose. it can illustrate your past, and leave a glimpse of your future if you so wish. but what needs to be said is this:
you are not alone. you never will be. walk forward, propel yourself to the center of the world, and know that we are not watching and wincing but smiling and dreaming (yetthisdreamisrealmyfriend) with you.
is that a fire alarm i hear?
i sincerely hope not.

Unknown,
i'm willing to advertise my enchantment if the need is there. if there's a chance that my display can erase doubt, if there's a chance that my hopefully witty wording can make you swoon, i'll write up my ode tonight and perform it for the masses at the very first sight of dawn. i'll dress down if that seems appropriate, or i'll obtain garments of gold and wear them proudly . whatever it takes to make my statement.
i won't rest until you've heard it all. until you've stood witness to the fantastic changes you've caused within and without. i'm nothing but a canvas that your mere breath makes heaven-like. if any piece seems beautiful or worthwhile, my dear, it is because you've fashioned it into an image of perfection. you are the perfect catalyst.
if only i could speak in a language that mirrored my feelings completely. but words, they seem to take a drastic turn when they cross the bridge of what-if and reality. i'm going to find a way to make everything okay. you'll learn that you are never alone. with every trace of an idea, i'll be praying for an opening into your heart.


the tree

Oh, but am I not just an extension of you?
A mere memory pulled out of you, and rendered somewhat alive?
Just a second; I hear the cacophony.
She is just a sinner, they say.
Put it away!
We can't be seen with these banned books.
Through the caves! Fear the trees!
Suck it in. Smoke isn't so bad to digest.
I have weights on my wrists. Illustrations of my pleas.
My teeth grow and turn to milk.
In an empty room, we all pray.
I just want to grasp you
and let you breathe again.
But I have tangled my leaves and shrank
upon inspection
and am no more than a carcass, next in line.